Kevin Bacon, The Guy Just Can’t Catch A Break

Good lord. It’s tough to feel bad for a famous movie star, but Kevin Bacon’s been really taking it in the chops lately. In all the Steven Spielberg/Jeffrey Katzenberg hub-bub, it was overlooked in certain circles that Bacon was a major Bernie Madoff victim. Yes, the man with the nose that could single-handedly inspire a Philip Roth novel was on Madoff’s hit list. High on Madoff’s hit-list. Word is Bacon was completely wiped out. Luckily his wife Kyra Sedwick makes a handy $300,000 an episode for The Closer, but still, the fruits of his success and a life-time’s work are gone. 

Then to add a little insult to injury, over the weekend, Bacon was mugged on the subway. In mid-town. Who the hell gets mugged in mid-town in post-Guliani New York???? I guess a cloud has just been hovering over Bacon lately. Has he been dancing without a license in the Bible Belt again? I can’t say I know the guy, but I’ve always got good vibes from him. First off, I’ll defend any Animal House alumni to the death. Beyond that, the guy plays a great fascist gay prostitute (JFK) and he and his wife are one of the few celebrity couples I can think of that have stayed together without controversy for more than a decade (two decades in this case). In all seriousness, I can’t imagine it’s the easiest thing and Bacon/Sedgwick have always managed to conduct themselves gracefully outside the purview of the tabloid vultures. The secret to a healthy marriage in Bacon’s words?

“Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.”

Whatever his sins may be, I’m sure there are quite a few people who had getting wiped out by Madoff and mugged outside a D’Agostino coming to them more than Kevin Bacon.